By: Martin Merritt, esq.
Past President, Texas Health Lawyers Association
Past Chair, DBA Health Law Section
martin@martinmerritt.com
“Please Tell Me you Didn’t. . . How to Keep Clients Out of the Jailhouse, Poorhouse and Lawyers Out of the Nuthouse” -Blog
As you can tell, I love talking about health law & litigation issues, and general wellbeing, if you have any health law questions or better yet, need to refer a case, just call or drop me an email and I will happily talk.
“The best part of being a famous author, is you can always get seated
at a good restaurant, but no one else knows who you are.”
–Fran Lebowitz
I am an imposter. A musical one. I volunteer playing guitar and singing from 5-7 p.m., two Tuesdays a month at the Dallas Bar Association Headquarters Bar. Often to a packed room of judges, lawyers and summer interns.
People seem to like it, and it helps me tremendously. As a litigator, I never miss a chance to stare down “performance anxiety.” And honestly no one expects me to be Counting Crowes, Matchbox 20 or R.E.M when covering their songs. An “imposter” is what is expected.
Oh, but with Litigation, there is nowhere to hid. That’s where the voices in my head will really come to heckle me. I don’t know many lawyers who don’t feel the pressure or performance anxiety when prepping for trials.
One of the ways I combat this, is a different kind of volunteering, the Dallas Bar Association DAYL Mock Trial Skills Competition. Here, experienced trial lawyers volunteer to serve, not so much to judge, but to help the next generation become better advocates.
And my gosh, these are some brave kids. Nervous as “cats in a room full of rocking chairs,” they still bravely get up there, in front of seasoned attorneys and give it their best.
And, by the way, I met Tom Melsheimer. So, there I was Friday in a Dallas County Courtroom Mock Trial Jury Box, introductions came, I said something meaningless about “representing doctors and healthcare providers” then next, to me a slender gentlemen about my same age stood and said:
“Well, I really don’t like talking about myself, but I am Tom Melsheimer, I handle civil and criminal litigation.”
And he sat down. Imagine going to church and the guy on the bench next to you leans over and says, “Hi, I’m God.”
Like me, Tom’s clients often have first and last names. Only his are “Exxon” and “Mobil.” Tom is one of the best trial lawyers money can buy (I am one of the best lawyers my clients can afford.)
A UT Austin grad, Tom clerked for the 5th Circuit, and now is the head of global trial team at King Spalding, and is famous for winning very, very large jury trials. Tom won the 2013 for Marc Cuban trial against the SEC and his client was the only defendant acquitted in the Forest Park Hospital criminal trial, among dozens of others.
When one of the contestants asked if there was a book they could read on trial practice, another fellow judge answered and pointed, “yeah, Tom wrote it.” (On the Jury Trial, with Judge Craig Smith, you can get it on Amazon.)
As happy as I was to be on a panel with Tom, there was a little voice in my head that said, “if ever there was a time to feel inadequate . . .this is probably it.”
“Imposter Syndrome” (and other negative thoughts). That little voice, and dozens of others like it, form negative thinking “micro habits.” I learned this from watching, Emma McAdam’s YouTube channel (2.5 million subscribers), called “Therapy in a Nutshell.”
She has dozens of 15-minute videos on how to be “less impulsive,” “emotional regulation,” “intrusive thoughts,” “catastrophizing,” and “how to stop being triggered.”
I took Emma’s advice and just turned my inner voice off, and focused on what I could learn from this opportunity, if is listened to his voice instead of my own.
I figured out one of the many things that makes Tom great. While the rest of us were checking our phones, I don’t think Tom had a phone. He was one hundred percent “present” and focused on doing the best job he could for these kids.
Afterwards, Tom didn’t leave right away. He stuck around, talking to each contestant, answering as many questions as they had, encouraging them to keep up the good work. He didn’t just care enough to be there, he “showed them” he cared about them.
As I sat here yesterday, reflecting on this, I got a text from my daughter—She had just been approved to take the July Texas Bar exam, before starting her associate position with one of the large downtown Dallas litigation firms.
I thought about what I learned two days prior from Tom, and skilled he was helping kids who were strangers to him. I thought about my daughter’s future, I got back on Amazon and changed my order—make that “two” of Tom’s trial books.